BBW's Spokesmodel covers evening gowns, make-up tips and fashion activism

By Stephanie Zehr

Q. I'm planning to compete in a national plus-size pageant in September and I need to find some competition-worthy clothes. I am looking for dressy sportswear and an evening gown that does not say "bride" - or, worse, "mother of the bride" - in a size 28. Can you help point me in the right direction?

Stephanie: How wonderful! You are going to have a great time. I would first suggest looking at the Jessica McClintock, Bridal Originals, Alfred Angelo, Sweetheart and Mera lines. They all have fabulous eveningwear, as does JCPenney.com and Roaman's. For dressy sportswear, try Fun Fashions, FUBU and Ulla Popken. If you're craving something edgier, sizeappeal.com would be a great place to start. Best of luck to you!

Q. I've always believed that every woman, regardless of size, should be proud of at least one part of her body and that she should make the most of it. In my case, I have nice legs and an attractive bosom with a large tummy and arms. I'm always searching for dresses that are above my knees, have sleeves and a flattering neckline. While plus-size fashion has come a long way, it seems that most of the really cute outfits are designed only for thin women. How can I best express my concerns to those in the fashion industry, and would they listen?

Stephanie: Well, that is the age-old question, isn't it? Although a variety of silhouettes, necklines and hems flatter different body types, many designers go for what they think will appeal to the average woman (as though there is such a thing!). I'd suggest you start by going through BBW's shopping directory, and hop on designers' and retailers' websites. I think you'll quickly find a few favorite designers who are creating looks to match your needs.

As for expressing your concerns, I'd simply write a letter to the manufacturer or designer noting what you're looking for and asking why they are not currently supplying the needs of the plus consumer. They may listen, or they may not, but it's still important to let your voice be heard.

Q. I'm a 26-year-old, 5' 7", size 18, beautiful redhead, and I'm extremely interested in modeling. Do you have any advice on searching for agents, and how do you determine who is legitimate and who isn't?

Stephanie: Your best resources are going to be in books and on the Internet. Visit great sites such as www.plusmodels.com, www.venusdivas.com and www.extrahip.com. All of these sites have important information regarding modeling and what you need to know about finding representation. I will say that your height may hinder you in a larger market such as New York, but on a local basis, you could very well work a lot. Go for your dreams!

Q. My wife is a plus-size woman who doesn't see herself as beautiful. She insists that, in order to be attractive, she must be thin. What can I do to help her feel as beautiful as she is? I just want her to be happy and not afraid to be sexy.

Stephanie: Unfortunately, a very large percentage of women feel this way - even those who are thin. Feeling good about yourself comes from within, which is something she will have to realize on her own. If it is the weight issue, why not ask her if she wants to take a walk, which is a good form of exercise, helps boost self-confidence and can trigger a good conversation. It's not uncommon for women to try and hide their true feelings. It may be that she is actually upset about something else entirely. She might think that, at some point, she failed at something and therefore doesn't think she is worthy of feeling good about herself. Get to the bottom of it and help her find her way back to happiness. I should also say that it might also help to take her shopping every once in a while!

Q. My self-esteem is great and I've never had a problem attracting the opposite sex. I have a shapely figure and am in pretty good shape, but I find it very difficult to commit to a healthy nutrition and exercise program. I'd like to better myself both physically and mentally, but I can't seem to get and stay motivated. Any advice?

Stephanie: Try not to tie yourself down to a specific workout plan. I've found that saying "I have to work out everyday at this time" doesn't work for me. In fact, it made me feel worse about myself, since I felt guilty about missing workouts. I would love to be one of those people that popped out of bed at 5 a.m. for a run, but it just is not me. I suggest simply doing the best you can. Find your medium and it will make you happier. Mentally, take time for yourself. If you feel deprived in other areas - such as not having enough time - it might affect your ability to make commitments both personally and professionally.

Q. I'm self-conscious about my double chin. How can I draw more attention to my eyes, and less to the lower part of my face?

Stephanie: A great technique that I learned from a make-up artist is to shadow your chin. Choose one shade darker than your skin tone, take your brush and stroke it on the underside of your chin and jaw line. Next, I would play up your eyes with a great liner, shadow and mascara. Last and most importantly, make sure those brows are professionally done!